Our 7th month:)

It’s been almost 7 months since my last blogpost. And I’ve been constantly reminding myself to write at least a single post whenever I get the chance, but the rigors of medschool just won’t let me. By now I should be changing my description from 'writer' to former writer or perhaps has-been writer. I have not written something decent in ages, just a hodge podge of passing thoughts, insubstantial randomness, rants, and an abysmal slew of nothingness. Even the semestral break I had 2 months ago (barely 2 weeks) didn’t give me the chance to seat in front of our PC and randomly type the things that I’ve been through as soon as I entered the gates of medschool. And on top of all that, I almost forgot my blogger password (what the hell, lol).

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To the one I love J

We’ve been together for the past 7 months. I have learned to live my life with you always by my side. I can no longer see myself being involved with another person other than you. Just the mere idea of it irks me to death.

Well, I have to admit that our relationship is not as typical as one could expect. I was comfortable being alone when you suddenly came. I am comfortable in the sense that I am enjoying the freedom of being single, without having to consider anyone in my everyday way of life—freed from demands of relationship.

But that certain kind of freedom is always accompanied by an ample amount of loneliness, and I think there is where the paradox lies. When you came into my life, that vacuum of angst residing within me for a long time was suddenly turned into an abyss of pure nirvana and unadulterated love. My reservations regarding commitments were relinquished. The mere sight of your name is capable of invoking a flood of happy memories that we’ve spent together. We’ve braved a hundred storms just to get to where we are today. Our love for one another is so strong that it can move mountains. You are an ultimate reminder of how blessed I am today. Even though I’m scared of not seeing things beyond this promising bliss, I remain to trust what is at hand. Simply because I feel you and I believe you.

Having someone like you is indeed an opportunity of a lifetime. I can’t thank you enough for all the sacrifices that you’ve done just to keep this relationship flow with great ease. I will remain faithful at all times and will hold you in my arms so tight so you can’t let go. Happy 7^th monthsary, bhebhe J

Punta de Uian- Review

The breathtaking view from atop.

Summer getaways are always on top of our priorities as soon as the scorching heat of the summer sets in. Last April, my family decided to spend this much-awaited treat at Punta de Uian, strategically located in Pundaquit, San Antonio, Zambales. An acquaintance of my dad had informed him about the place, its amenities, room accommodations etc. We also did our own research about this haven over the Internet. We are quite picky when it comes to resorts and beaches because we’ve seen some of the best beaches here in our country (Like Boracay, Panglao, Bolinao, and the list goes on and on). Having everything in place and well accounted for, we pursued the trip in great exaltation.

It took us roughly two hours to get into the place (We are from Pampanga by the way). Its brochure says the 19-hectare resort development is an exotic paradise whose ambient sea breeze is therapeutic; well it didn’t mention it’s secluded too – exactly what we needed for our little vacation.

We arrived at exactly 10 am, 4 hours earlier than the expected time for checking-in (we weren’t informed about the check-in specifics, our bad). We decided to stay at the lobby while waiting to be escorted into our room. We had the duplex type (P14, 640/night) which is good for 6 persons. It has two rooms, 2 comfort rooms, a dining and a living room, and a veranda overlooking the beach. We were accompanied by an attendant who led us to our room. Good idea since there are several lodging areas around the resort.

The room was a surprise because of its luxurious details. Adorned with fancy pieces of furniture and intricate interiors, plus a veranda overlooking the pristine waters of Pundaquit bay as it placidly roll onto the shore, the place is really captivating and downright breathtaking, quite a perfect place for those seeking respite from the stresses of modern-day living.

Interiors- Duplex

I had patiently waited for the sun to relent before I toyed with the waves. Together with my siblings and nieces, we bathed as if there’s no tomorrow.

Next, we toured the rest of the resort. I turned my eyes to the huge image of the Blessed Mother by the sea and quickly noticed that we are approaching the chapel. The calm, peace and total quiet here will make for a perfect group retreat. We stayed there until the brilliant orange mass of the sun cleared the horizon.

After having our carcinogenic supper (blame the ihaw-ihaw), we inquired at the concierge of the resort if we could set a bonfire by the beach. Much to our surprise, the bonfire materials cost 500 bucks. But since it could only be the perfect time and place where we could have such a set up while having superficial chitchats, we valiantly paid for it. And surely, it did not disappoint us! Having your loved ones altogether sitting around the bonfire while bantering with one another is by all odds one of the best moments in life.

all smiles

I, together with my two siblings, decided to go on a night swim after the bonfire went out. To our satisfaction, the pool was deserted, so we swam nonchalantly. I think we spent 4 hours just loitering about in the pool (10 pm-2 am, if I’m not mistaken). We really had a blast, so to speak.

For the benefit of those who plan to have their exodus in this resort, here’s a quick assessment of the resort’s accommodation and amenities.

>Wireless Fidelity (WiFi) is extensively available.

>The food is completely a different story. Punta de Uian has a serious lack of good cooks. We received a tasteless version of the usually yummy fare. A total rip-off. Take my word for it.

>There is so much to do at Punta de Uian. You could go Kayak-ing, Jetski-ing, etc. I had the brochure uploaded, brandishing the different water activities with their corresponding prices.

All Terrain Vehicle: P 3,100/hr
Jetski: P 4,000/hr
Kayak: P 600/3 hrs
Snorkel Set: P 1,100/day

ISLAND HOPPING

Camara Island: P 1,100
Capones Island: P 1,300
Anawangin Cove: P 1,500
3 Destinations: P 3, 500
*Rate is good for 5 pax only; Additional P 150.00 per head in excess of 5 pax

>When it comes to the general amenities: There is a restaurant, albeit a small one, that could serve possibly a maximum of 50 pax, give or take a few. There are two pools, a kiddie and adult one. The kiddie pool is not for smaller kids. It's about 3.5 feet deep, the average height of five to six year olds.The pool was clean for the most part, with the usual debris from trees and the occasional fly. Otherwise, it was good enough. Water was lukewarm, which served me well since I get cold easily.

>Not to disappoint anyone, but the beach is not that memento-friendly. The grayish and rough sand is not at all alluring. But on the plus side, the ambiance of the beach is serene and relaxing, primarily because it is uncluttered and most of the time, deserted. So if you enjoy walking around barefooted on a beach while desperately trying to invoke some bittersweet memories from the past, this definitely is the place to be.  

>The view is also to die for! One can choose a room overlooking the sea, the resort’s man-made lagoon, its impressive garden or the mountains.

>The staff was generally friendly and accommodating. No request was ever turned down.

The Resort's lobby

Verdict: 8/10

Hoping that this post could be of great help to those who are planning to have their respite at Punta de Uian :)

A Panacea for a Perplexed Mind

*April 14, 2012- 11:45 pm

I am lying here in my bed now, staring blankly at the wall while my thoughts seem to be pouring forth out of my subconscious mind and are likely to run in circles again. Few more weeks before the start of the arduous journey of medschool, and here I am, still in a quandary brought about by the unsettling fear of what might happen en route. The long and seemingly interminable wait may have run its course, but the real battle hasn’t really started yet.

On Wednesday, I will be heading to AUF for the psych exam. I am anticipating questions like ‘Do you really want to become a doctor?’ and ‘Do you think you have what it takes to endure the hardships of medschool?’ so on and so forth. As I tried to formulate and rehearse my stereotyped answers to these seemingly simple questions, the vagueness of my answers caught up with me. And a plethora of fears materialized out of thin air.

I fear that entering medschool may consume a mammoth percentage of my stay here on earth. After braving five years inside the academe, you are yet to have at least two more years of residency for your specialization, which perfectly explains why medschool is really a perpetual study. Once again, my social life, which is practically minimal to start with, will be cut off much more. I must admit I frequently found myself questioning if I really want to become a doctor, if all the sleepless nights, missed family gatherings, night outs and catch ups are worth sacrificing. I dread that I may become too busy poring over books that when I raise my head, I find that so many things have changed, and I constantly have to reorient myself to how life is proceeding in the real world.

Of course, time and resources go hand in hand. Hordes of money will be painfully spent for me to hop on to the next level. Though I was given a scholarship grant because I graduated with Latin honors in my pre-med course, still, I am quite uncertain if I will be able to maintain an average beyond what is set for me to still enjoy this privilege. Meanwhile, years of being a full-fledged consultant don’t necessarily guarantee a breakeven, unless you work really really hard.

A deviated state of well being can also be a great impediment. Most of the time, I tend to ignore the need for sleep to keep up with all the demands of school, only to find myself being hospitalized in the end  because of ailments that could have been prevented had I taken necessary care for my body. Perhaps, this destructive yet preventable act of self-annihilation can be put into practice again as I brave the hurdles of medschool.

Being unable to live up to the expectations of those people around me is also foreboding. From all the distinctions or accolades that I have fairly achieved, everyone may perceive that I am a real achiever, more than able to conquer whatever hefty, and sometimes, unpalatable servings that medschool has to offer to its students. But what if they are mistaken? How will they react if they found out that I am flunking exams than what my two hands can count?

I think it's normal for a person to have these ruminations especially if he or she is on the verge of a life-changing transition with far-reaching outcomes. I can’t categorically say that this certain type of disconcerting phenomenon is healthy, because talking on a psychological side, it is not. A mere thought of it leaves you helplessly perplexed and baffled. If it's any consolation, I still have few more weeks to have this cloud of doubts settled from being suspended mid air. One thing’s for sure- I really wanted to become a doctor, and I am more than willing to take the odds.

After spending few more weeks in a relaxation frenzy, I will be entering medschool with a rekindled fire to put myself through whatever mad-rough drive medschool has to offer. It may be a painful pill to swallow, but the good, valuable things in life rarely come in neat, just-open-and –enjoy packages. Someday, I know all the effort and sacrifices will have its use, and until that day comes, when I finally gaze into the picture where the pieces have finally come together, I will make that decision of becoming a medical doctor everyday.

Feeling Sorry for Jimmy Sieczka

Just recently, we were caught off guard by the compelling video uploaded by channelfix.com on Youtube, brandishing several reasons why a certain Jimmy Sieczka hated/disliked the Philippines. The video, which has generated 128,000 hits since it was uploaded on Youtube, brutally talked about several factors why the Philippines is not a good place to live, from problems on poor services in traffic, garbage collection, sanitation, and peace and order, among others. 

In less than no time, the video went viral on different networking sites, including the blogosphere, where viewers of the video vehemently aired their personal indignation and ire over it, stating that it’s quite unfair for the Filipino people to have this video circulating on the web, thinking that it might scare the hell out of the tourists planning to have their vacation here, and perhaps could also be a big blow to the steadfast and extensive drive of the Department of Tourism to internationally market the Philippines on the very competitive tourism arena.

Several government and non-government organizations alike had went amok and launched their retaliatory attacks against those who uploaded the video, specifically, to Jimmy Sieczka, who almost had the verdict of being considered “persona non grata” of the Cebu City, if not for his follow up video stating his guarded apology over the fiasco that the video had created.

Jimmy had mentioned on his apologetic video that he was just plainly stating the obvious, but he really never hated the Philippines. The scenes on the video may not be a product of fiction or a playful imagination, still it is somewhat unjust to generalize. Philippines, unequivocally, is a country known for its rich biodiversity, culturally-inclined and downright religious people. Just recently, we ranked 8^th on Forbes Magazine’s Top 10 Friendliest Countries. This is more than enough to consider our country a good place to live for natives and foreigners alike. We may not have all the advancements on technology within our hands, still, it is our optimism and inimitable resilience that make us stand out among other races.

However, the whole idea of giving criticisms to our country gets a different light when a stranger, or let’s say a foreigner who wasn’t even born in the Philippines, gives his or her own wayward sentiments over our country. The video may serve as a wake-up call for us Filipinos, even when we think we’re already awake. This unprecedented mayhem calls for collective efforts gunning for order and peace. While acknowledging its sinister effects globally may do little to change the status quo, a little may help move the wheel, other than letting it stagnate towards a lasting impression.

The 'Could Have Been' Valedictory Speech

Graduates and undergrads alike may now breathe a collective sigh of relief as the school year is finally coming to an end. After months of endless torture and boundless challenges, they can now indulge themselves with luxuries that they can’t possibly afford while simultaneously burning the midnight oil.

Meanwhile, school administrators and teachers will probably be on their toes preparing for the upcoming graduation rites. This is undoubtedly a laborious task, because I’ve been seeing my mom nowadays (She’s a public school teacher, handling Grade 6 students) fidgeting with all the work that needed to be accomplished at the soonest possible time.

My mom asked me to write a Valedictory Address for her student. Seeing this not only as a favor, I immediately said yes and turned on the PC to start writing it.

To be addressed as a Valedictorian and gracefully lead your fellow graduates as you speak your eloquent speech has long been a dream, but sadly, I fell short of expectations to be addressed as one. In the meantime, making a valedictory speech would hugely suffice my longing for such a dream.

So here it is, in full context, unedited.

VALEDICTORY ADDRESS

To our impeccable and hardworking principal, Noel S. Macapagal, gracious and astute school’s District Supervisor Dr. Lolita L. Molano, dedicated teachers, beloved parents, friends, and to my fellow graduates, a pleasant good evening.

It is with great exaltation and pride that I am standing in front of everyone as we all gathered here to cherish this particular milestone in our lives as students, our graduation day. This marks the end of our stay here in this institution, the institution to which I am deeply grateful for. This academe has served as my second home, my molder, and a melting pot of opportunities that had shaped me for who I have become today. Though I certainly dread this particular day that we have to step out of the grounds of this school, I still believe that the memories and lessons once taught to us by our mentors will always be with us as we depart. The values and good moral conducts that have been reiterated to us over the years will surely have their application as we conquer heights of opportunities outside the four corners of Masantol Elementary School.

The 2012 Graduation Rites mainly focus on the theme “Your Gift of Learning, Our Tool for Nation Building”. This is true to a sense. Education will always be our main artillery as we go along the battlefield of life. Nowadays, it has always been a question of how competent and knowledgeable a person is, that could predetermine his resilience and capability to overcome the challenges of life. As members of the youth, we must not lose our sense of idealism. We should have the same wisdom and discernment as that of Rizal’s. He pronounced that the ‘Youth is the hope of our nation’, seeing that the vibrancy of wanting change lies most radiant in us. We must not disappoint him, or categorically speaking, our country in general. We have to continuously strive for perfection in everything that we do, and above all, placing God at the center of our lives so that we may not go astray.

I would also like to take this once in a lifetime opportunity to thank some of the key people whom I have shared my time with.

First and foremost, to my parents, for standing by me and for giving me the most valuable gift a parent can actually give to his children: the gift of education. My deepest gratitude also for the unconditional love and support that they have poured on me during those times that I almost succumbed to the temptation of giving up.

To my teachers and mentors, for the wisdom that they have imparted to us. Thanks for cultivating our distinct potentials which could have been lying idle if not for their utmost perseverance and dedication.

To my fellow graduates, most especially to my friends, for accepting my flaws and shortcomings. The times that we spent together will always be cherished for as long as I am a breathing soul. May we all succeed in our own endeavors in life.

And last, but not the least, to God, for bestowing me the gift of life, and by all means, giving me the chance to first-handedly experience everything that I went through, be it a painful or blissful experience. Rest assured, these challenges, failed or succeeded, have equally contributed to my personal character.

Life is everybody’s game. There is no glass ceiling to break, and you do not have to graduate with honors to be a successful citizen of this country. But while this is true, working hard for it is a requirement which could not be divorced from the equation. Only prayers, hard work and determination turn the impossible into something inevitably attainable.

On behalf of graduating class 2011-2012, I would like to express my sincerest gratitude and heartfelt thanks to those people who helped us attain this torch of success. Once again, CONGRATULATIONS!

Facebook and its Dire Effects

The advent of technology has greatly touched the lives of many people. It has dramatically changed the way people live. Through technology, some of the less convenient means of living were tremendously improved. For an instance, flipping through your iPad has caused reading newspapers an almost obsolete way of keeping yourself abreast of the news. Nowadays, not having complete access to the internet would mean paralysis for some. These advancements, by all odds, have made the world a better place to live; it’s as if everything’s being served on a silver platter.

The influence of technology is so powerful that it has also penetrated the way we communicate with other people. Different social networking sites had sprung like mushrooms, all aiming to make communication, at the least bit, comfortable (not to mention, entertaining).

One of the most notable and heavily-used social networking site would be Facebook. Facebook was launched in February 2004, and was founded by Mark Zuckerberg. This particular networking site has captured the interest of almost all people. To have a Facebook account nowadays has become a necessity, almost a way of life. Being capable of receiving news and updates from your friends first handedly is just one of the fascinating things you can do in this site, not to mention the great amount of hearsays that gossipmongers would love to acquire.

As many people know, Facebook is indeed the largest social network in the world today. Facebook is helping people connect with their friends, and relatives from all over the world. It makes human begin life much easier. However, since it is getting well-known, bad things start to take place.

Facebook is already losing its intended purpose. It has become a melting pot of misunderstandings, feuds, and complicated but nonsense virtual altercations, to say the least. Though Facebook categorically allows us to speak out ‘What’s on your mind’, that doesn’t give us the utmost freedom to write everything we wanted to write and be nonchalant about other people’s feelings. All great things in life come with responsibility and accountability. Bringing someone else’s rift on Facebook is like making public one’s private life (an oxymoron, indeed). These things, ultimately, are not meant for public consumption. To banter publicly (and brutally) with anybody is an aberration of social graces.

In addition to that, relationships developed on Facebook (at a distance) are by default weaker than the real relationships, lacking physical and emotional conduct. This leads to a ritualistic involvement that turns into addiction and belligerently deprives you from your real life by triggering you to log on several times a day.

According to a research, this social networking site has caused stress to some of its users. More than one out of every 10 users said that the site made them anxious, and about three out of ten claimed to feel guilty about rejecting friend requests. Others said they felt pressure to come up with inventive status updates, and didn't enjoy having to apply different rules of online etiquette to different friends.

But, if Facebook causes so much stress, why do so many people use it? According to lead researcher Dr. Kathy Charles, the "overwhelming majority" of students said they rely on the site to keep in touch with their friends, and many said they won't delete their accounts because they don't want to miss out on something important or offend others.

This pressure, Charles says, keeps Facebook users in a constant state of "neurotic limbo, not knowing whether they should hang on in there just in case they miss out on something good." Many of the students surveyed, however, weren't all that enthusiastic about the real or perceived benefits that the site offers. “Although there is great pressure to be on Facebook there is also considerable ambivalence amongst users about its benefits," Charles explained. "And we found it was actually those with the most contacts, those who had invested the most time in the site, who were the ones most likely to be stressed."

It’s not everything wrong about Facebook. In many cases, you can catch up with old friends, find valuable information, promote your work and your business, support really important causes and meet people who can be real friends in the process. Meanwhile, the usage of Facebook beyond its intended purpose must be curbed for our own sake.

Farewell To A Loving Grandfather

Death, for the medical profession, to which I consequently belong to, is the cessation of the bodily processes, a phenomenon wherein the heart stops beating, and the brain can no longer fulfill its various functions which are deemed vital for one's survival. This marks the onset of bereavement among those who have survived him.

Losing a loved one is definitely one of the downsides of humanity. Isn't it painful to be detached to someone you hold so important, and somehow had played a vital role in your life? As rational beings, created by God in His image and likeness, we are capable of forming emotional bonds/attachment within each other, thus making separation a lot more unbearable, with the pain a lot worse than the pain of a mother in labor, or having your fragile body being sliced for operation without a working anesthesia. No amount of anesthetic products can numb the pain of a bereaved. But as the cliche goes, 'Time heals all wounds'. We will eventually be able to get through this over time.In God's perfect time. 

Death is a particular topic that almost all of us would not want to talk about. We may feel it is morbid to think about death, but actually it's unhealthy to live in denial of death and not consider what is inevitable. 

But death, rather the end, is just the beginning of life- in eternity. As St. Francis of Assisi has preached, 'It is in dying that we are born again to eternal life'. This life is not all there is. Life is just a temporary assignment. Life on Earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production. It is the practice workout before the actual game, the warm up lap before the race begins. 

Tonight, we are all gathered here to collectively relive the memories of our fallen brother in faith, Jesus 'Jessie' Regala. In this particular moment of unprecedented grief, let us all savor the memories that we've had with him, and willingly set aside our differences so that we may be able to attain sublime peace and tranquility deep within the walls of our dolorous hearts. We may not be able to again see his soulful eyes gleam before us, or his comely smile greeting us with great hope, his reminiscences will remain as lucid as the shine of the brightest star God has ever made. One day, we will all be reunited again with him and will share together the paradise that God had promised to believers. But please, not too soon...

*This was my introductory speech during the Necrological Service/Eulogy conducted on the night of February 25, 2012, the day before my grandfather was about to be buried.

JESUS 'JESSIE' FLORES REGALA
OCTOBER 9, 1935-JANUARY 30, 2012

Paradox of Solitary Happiness

Around this time of the month, lovers will probably be on their toes preparing for the upcoming Valentine’s day. Almost all magazines of different varieties will be brandishing teasers like ‘How to memorably spend your V-day with him/her’ in gleaming bright letters, framing a photo of a happy couple romantically looking at each other. When I was in High school and College, it has been a common sight during this occasion to see a parade of brightly colored flowers, humongous and fluffy stuffed toys and interestingly shaped balloons on campus grounds. Sweeps of women carrying large bouquets of flowers wrapped in strong shades of red and pink paper would be marching on their classes, carefully cradling the love presents in their arms, like holding fragile items of wilting value. Men would most of the time, be the equally proud bearers of such objects, because they either view it as a solid pronouncement of their affection, or it just shows how much moolah they can splurge on such fancies. Valentine’s day is truly a season wherein everything seems to be painted in red.

While a number of those people who are single treat Feb 14 as synonymous to judgment day or doomsday, I myself seem to be unfazed by it. You can never catch me lamenting over the ‘misfortune’ of having a zero love life, specifically during this time of the year. I never felt so sorry for myself, nor did I ever cast envious glances at lovers whom I occasionally see caressing each other in a corner, and as if mentally telling them the phrases ‘don’t patronize me! I’m happy being single’. Matters like these were often cold-shouldered by me.

Over the years, I have experienced the perks of being single. I’ve gotten the chance to focus more on myself and appreciate my freedom to simply do what I wish. I have exercised the sheer authority to put every aspect of my life in their proper perspectives. Spending my time in solitude actually allowed me to accept, appreciate and love myself more. I may sound like a self-absorbed individual, but I can’t deny the sublime wonders it has brought into my life.

In a sense, I have bought my autonomy with a good amount of loneliness. And there, I think, is where the paradox lies.

This odd feeling has come over me, as if I have been suspended in midair, with no way to gain purchase on the ground far below. It has taken its toll already, consuming a huge proportion of my existence. Years of feigning happiness has remarkably devoured my self worth. Deriving genuine happiness from isolation is an oxymoron.

It all boils down to a single question- when will I ever let myself love and be loved again? I certainly cannot answer it right know. The tragic memories of the past were as lucid as the smell of my coffee sitting idly here on my table.

As I think about it, a stifling panic strikes me with a realization of my greatest fear – that is if I could ever take the pain of having my heart broken for the same damn reason.

Unloading Unnecessary Clutter

I woke up this morning feeling quite uneasy. While still lying in my bed, and having the sun’s rays to pry my eyes open, I let my gaze wander around the four-corners of my room, hoping that I may be able to forage whatever is bothering my senses. Unexpectedly, I have realized that there are so many unnecessary stuff littered in every corner of my room, stuff that are rarely in use and almost to the point of being futile. They had created a feeling of uncomfortableness and brutally speaking, had become some sort of an eyesore. My room has been a mess for quite some time now. I was often busy, too busy to even mind the stuff piling up where they shouldn’t be. They have been lying idle in a corner for a long period of time, thus a considerable amount of dust had already shrouded their surfaces.

It has dawned on me- My room needed a major clean-up. I badly wanted to get rid of these unnecessary stuff to allow the much needed space for some additional things that might be piling up in the coming months or even years, considering the fact that I am about to enter MedSchool in a few months time. And basically through this, I might be able to save my room from becoming a complete disaster.

So I started the tedious task right after having my breakfast. I started with the endless stacks of folders containing myriad handouts/test papers on Nursing. I opened each folder, and pored over their contents one by one, contemplating if they are worthy of keeping. Every single item had their share of stories, all capable of invoking a flood of happy memories, which greatly reminded me of my glory days, and also a fair share of the bad ones. I felt mixed up with all of the emotions running through my veins. And after those hours of musing, I finally decided to throw everything I deemed unimportant and useless into the garbage bag.

For a person with an Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder like me, (Clinically undiagnosed, but I’m sure as hell I do have this one), throwing away things you once considered your prized possessions is a very emotional job. I have learned that on our Psychiatric Nursing class way back in college. An OCPD-stricken person tends to dismiss the idea of discarding things he had held important, even though these may not be of use to him anymore. They are becoming very sentimental over these things. An individual with OCPD often has this fear that by putting the things away, he is also throwing with them the memories and the lessons they once taught him.

But with the earnest desire to keep everything in order, and also having an unfathomable amount of courage, I’ve succeeded in eliminating all of the unnecessary clutter inside my room. The job was not a piece of cake. Aside from the physical effort it demanded, it was the roller-coaster ride of emotions that made it a lot harder for me.

It seems that our emotions suffer that phenomenon too. Sometimes, we tend to keep a number of painful memories at the back of our minds, in the hope it would make us all bolder beings as we go along with our lives. But little do we know that they are also the same reason why we seem to have some difficulties in moving forward. Our bitterness makes us too heavy to soar above the puddle of mud we wallow in. Until we realize that there is something wrong about being overly nostalgic, we remain stunted.

Sometimes, we get too caught up in our past that it clouds our view for the present and the future. We take our failures, pain and grudges far longer that we should. There might be nothing too wrong with that, except when being overly nostalgic about the past prevents us from allotting the needed space for the things that are significant for what is present.

So lighten up. Emancipate. Unload everything you find so unnecessary in your life. I know it's easier said than done, but maybe we could try to forget the pain,and instead just remember to keep the lessons to heart. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a mindset, regardless of our age, that we have a lifetime ahead of us to live. As such, we need to free as much space there is to accommodate all the 'stuff' that is to come and get rid of all the unnecessary clutter.

To My Beloved Grandfather...

"If anyone should serve me, let him follow me, where I am, there will my servant be" 

John 12:26

Our Grandfather (Ingkong), Jessie Regala, peacefully joined his Maker at 1:30 am (Las Vegas Time) on January 30,2012.

You, together with the wonderful memories we've shared, will always have a special place in our hearts. May you find eternal peace in the arms of our Creator. 

We will miss you. We love you.

Aimless Ranting

Interminable wait for the School Year 2012-2013

It has been nearly four months since I stopped being a volunteer nurse at MTCMC. From then on, I’ve been a professional tambay (as others would coin it). Every waking hour of my life would mean a mundane cycle of superficial things, from flipping through the newspaper, poring over nerve racking books of some varieties, surfing the net aimlessly and other stupid whatnots known to man. Life is driving me nuts out of its sheer monotony. I really am so bored. I need to get a life besides existing. And sometimes, it is as if I’m virtually compelled to carry out every household chore, just to regard myself as a productive member of the household. And I have nothing against this one. I understand that everyone has some more important matters to attend to, and I, having a loathsome attitude toward this would probably not be the best thing that I could possibly be proud of having.

I slowly am about to border the dreadful aftermaths of this sheer boredom. Roughly four months before the next school year to commence, and hear I am, patiently counting the days before that treasured date. Those days seem to run out at a snail’s pace, and as slowly as the sand slipping through the narrow center of an hourglass. The ticking of the clock has gone wild. The interminable wait suffocates me.

So instead of letting the time pass me by unnoticed, here I am typing away these things in my mind. It is somewhat a constructive way of wasting someone’s time (So much for the justification).

And may I add. All great things to those who wait. So I’ll be patiently waiting.

Disclaimer.

If I will critique my own writing, I would say it is always too long, too wordy, and devoid of humor. It’s as if my words/sentences were lifted up from a textbook. Well, change starts from seeing what’s wrong (Plus I couldn’t seem to write in a conversational manner) - see? My usage of ‘conversational manner’ proves my point. I will do something about it, and believe me when I say, I’m a work in progress! Haha The manner to which I have constructed my words may not be grammatically perfect, but please, fervently excuse this fool. Writing has never been my cup of tea. I am rather good at some aspects concerning academics, but really not in writing. Well basically, I’ve been thinking that by making blog posts, I can improve my command of the English language, and perhaps, speech in general. I can pull this thing off, trust me! :)

Enough of this colloquy. I’m starving now. Famished. And considering cannibalism as of the moment! Lol just kidding.

My 21st Birthday

I just celebrated my 21st birthday yesterday, and I don't feel a day older. I guess birthdays don't really get to make you feel old. Experience does.  I think the last time I felt to have gotten a year older was when I took the Nurse Licensure Exams. After months of sleepless nights and torture of all sorts, I felt like being out of my old skin. I felt different, certainly far from being a perplexed and overly sensitive teenager. I think what made my birthday slightly tangible was the outpouring of people who greeted me their happy birthdays. Even people I was no longer in touch with were sending me their greetings.

Recently, I have been very vocal about our family experiencing problems of different magnitudes, and health issues concerning our Lolo being the most disturbing of them all. But we guessed we desperately needed a break so as to lighten up our loads and somehow be recharged, and my birthday was indeed the perfect time to break free.

I started my big day by hearing the 8 am mass with my family. I thought this was the perfect way to start the day. I believed that through this, I would be given the chance to personally thank Him for He has given me another year to fulfill my purpose and be with the people I dearly love.

My family and I decided to spend the rest of the day in Subic. Aside from the fact that the place was just a stone's throw from ours, Subic is indeed a magnificent place whenever you feel like strolling and wanting some affordable forms of relaxation, and perhaps, needless to say, being able to enjoy the wonders of nature, free of charge.

We chanced to see the beautiful sunset by the bay. Seeing the timid sun as it disappeared from behind the mountains gave me a sense of tranquility and peace. Letting the gentle sea breeze freely penetrate my nose was so liberating. While I was observing astonishing waves roll onto the shores, the subtle memories that I have stored at the back of my mind in my 21 years of existence suddenly flashed before my eyes. And for the first time in my life, I felt like crying. People know I don’t usually cry, and I can poster up a calm demeanor in the face of heart wrenching situations. Many believe that I am this strong hold that wouldn’t budge (Or so I think). But the moment these memories seemed to be touching my sensitive core, tears just welled up on my eyes, and I was badly trying my very best not to let the tears stream down on my cheeks. Pent up tension was rushing from my body, like a tide bursting open from a dam. The picturesque scene overlooking the wonders of the Earth was indeed more than enough to turn an emotional wreck into maudlinness. I haven’t yet experienced anything that is comparable.

It has dawned on me that life is really not unfair after all.  And all of my reservations were suddenly proven futile. Life has reminded me to be more thankful and appreciative of what I have and not whine about the things that I don’t/couldn’t possibly have. Life is indeed full of trickery, and it is up to you on how you would deal with them. 

Thanks for the unconditional love.

Me and my ever-loving mom.

 We ate at Gerry's Grill. And yes, the food made us all ecstatic.

Then agreed to have some bottles of alcohol at 17th Avenue, Northwalk I.

And to formally end the night, we all headed to Starbucks SM Pamp to have some doses of caffeine that could help us all sober up. So much for being Starbucks fiends.

We were home at exactly 12 am. I really had a blast, and true enough, it is one of the most memorable birthdays I've ever had. I am loved. And blessed.