Unloading Unnecessary Clutter

I woke up this morning feeling quite uneasy. While still lying in my bed, and having the sun’s rays to pry my eyes open, I let my gaze wander around the four-corners of my room, hoping that I may be able to forage whatever is bothering my senses. Unexpectedly, I have realized that there are so many unnecessary stuff littered in every corner of my room, stuff that are rarely in use and almost to the point of being futile. They had created a feeling of uncomfortableness and brutally speaking, had become some sort of an eyesore. My room has been a mess for quite some time now. I was often busy, too busy to even mind the stuff piling up where they shouldn’t be. They have been lying idle in a corner for a long period of time, thus a considerable amount of dust had already shrouded their surfaces.

It has dawned on me- My room needed a major clean-up. I badly wanted to get rid of these unnecessary stuff to allow the much needed space for some additional things that might be piling up in the coming months or even years, considering the fact that I am about to enter MedSchool in a few months time. And basically through this, I might be able to save my room from becoming a complete disaster.

So I started the tedious task right after having my breakfast. I started with the endless stacks of folders containing myriad handouts/test papers on Nursing. I opened each folder, and pored over their contents one by one, contemplating if they are worthy of keeping. Every single item had their share of stories, all capable of invoking a flood of happy memories, which greatly reminded me of my glory days, and also a fair share of the bad ones. I felt mixed up with all of the emotions running through my veins. And after those hours of musing, I finally decided to throw everything I deemed unimportant and useless into the garbage bag.

For a person with an Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder like me, (Clinically undiagnosed, but I’m sure as hell I do have this one), throwing away things you once considered your prized possessions is a very emotional job. I have learned that on our Psychiatric Nursing class way back in college. An OCPD-stricken person tends to dismiss the idea of discarding things he had held important, even though these may not be of use to him anymore. They are becoming very sentimental over these things. An individual with OCPD often has this fear that by putting the things away, he is also throwing with them the memories and the lessons they once taught him.

But with the earnest desire to keep everything in order, and also having an unfathomable amount of courage, I’ve succeeded in eliminating all of the unnecessary clutter inside my room. The job was not a piece of cake. Aside from the physical effort it demanded, it was the roller-coaster ride of emotions that made it a lot harder for me.

It seems that our emotions suffer that phenomenon too. Sometimes, we tend to keep a number of painful memories at the back of our minds, in the hope it would make us all bolder beings as we go along with our lives. But little do we know that they are also the same reason why we seem to have some difficulties in moving forward. Our bitterness makes us too heavy to soar above the puddle of mud we wallow in. Until we realize that there is something wrong about being overly nostalgic, we remain stunted.

Sometimes, we get too caught up in our past that it clouds our view for the present and the future. We take our failures, pain and grudges far longer that we should. There might be nothing too wrong with that, except when being overly nostalgic about the past prevents us from allotting the needed space for the things that are significant for what is present.

So lighten up. Emancipate. Unload everything you find so unnecessary in your life. I know it's easier said than done, but maybe we could try to forget the pain,and instead just remember to keep the lessons to heart. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a mindset, regardless of our age, that we have a lifetime ahead of us to live. As such, we need to free as much space there is to accommodate all the 'stuff' that is to come and get rid of all the unnecessary clutter.