DAY 1: How painful is painful?

I am sort of experiencing some kind of pain right now that no pain scale ever invented can actually gauge. Today, I was confronted by my partner that he did cheat on me behind my back.

I don't know what to feel at the moment. I  also have my own share of shortcomings when it comes to our relationship. I have committed mistakes in the past that I have regretted doing up until now. I broke his heart a couple of times before and made a vow to God that I will not do the same mistakes again. I tend to neglect him when I get too caught up with the demands of my studies and promised that I will make it up to him once I'm freed with all the academic requirements I have on my plate. These imperfections on my part had indeed made me question if I do have the right to feel frustrated when I found out that he was cheating on me.

I digress to what the famous Beyonce told Lady Gaga that 'trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broke' while I nod in approval when the latter replied  "but you can still see that crack in that motherf*cker's reflection'. 

The man I trusted for nearly two years now proved to me that he was the person I thought he never was. That even his name that you once equate with purity could also be stained.  That everyone is bound to break their sacred promises. That everyone can't be trusted.

While I confess that I'm still in love with this person whom I trusted for years now, I seem to feel lost on how I can revert back our glory days. It's as if every piece of matter in the surface of the earth reminds me the fact that I once trusted somebody, but got busted in the end. How can I live the reality that I am indeed having difficulty in pressing on to whatever is left in our relationship? To rekindle the dying fire under unprecedented rains?

Time heals all wounds. I just have to be strong right now. I can make it through the rain.