My knees were tired and I could barely stand alone. I had been waiting for you to join me in the ring and prove that you were up to fight with me, like what I had been doing for us since day one. I wanted things to work. I poured all my attention, time, emotions and even my own well-being onto this fight. I thought we were supposed to be in this fight together. But my was wrong.
It took me some time to realize that I was fighting it all out alone. You were just standing there, enjoying the spectacle. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, thinking that you were just waiting for the right cue on when to jump in and join me in the fight. But the 12 rounds we were given were just too long for me to bear it all alone. In every punch, kick and jab I painfully received, I screamed for help. 'Show me you're in this', I'd plead.
Time against us and miles between us, but still, I gave it a try. I moved out of my comfort zone simply because I thought you were worth it. I thought of the beautiful possibility of us fighting in the ring together, enduring all the punches and setbacks that are bound our way. Time passed by and you never showed up prepared. From unanswered texts and calls, to unjustified apprehensions, surely I was always at the receiving end. I was losing the idea that you were really into it, that this could possibly be love, like what you made me feel at the very start, until inconsistency on your part set in.
I realized that I had to throw in the towel and give up when reality slapped me real hard that I was all doing it all by myself. I was too tired, weak and extremely vulnerable. Surely, if love is real, it will kiss you back and will not make you question your self worth.
Honey, love is not for the lazy. If you can't put up the fight, you're lazy. And quite frankly, you're not worthy. You are such an 'out of sight, out of mind' person.
And please, don't ask for a rematch until you are ready. Show me you are worthy of my time and affection until you get me to play again.
